Do you ever get a of feeling self-hatred? an overwhelming feeling to run so fast that no one can catch you?
I had no idea how not to think.
The voices in my brain were making everything difficult for me. so I decided something.
MARCH 1 2017
I wanted to surprise everyone by suddenly disappearing from this world, a beautiful world.
After doing 15-hour analysis of various methods to disappear, I decided to go with sleeping pills. why? because It was the only method that will help me to permanently disappear from this beautiful world.
For 2 days, I searched my grandmother's room for those magic pills but coincidentally she was not having them anymore, because according to her they were making her sleep a lot than required.
what a difference of outlook! here I wanted to sleep forever and she wanted to sleep for - never hahaha.
I cried a lot, not on my bad timing but because now i was forced by the universe to stay in this world.
I curled up in my bed trying to limit every voice that was coming from my cerebrum and forced my self to sleep
I slept for 5 days straight.
That day i realised something changed or should I say everything changed .forever.
NOTE: SUCIDE IS NOT THE SOLUTION.IT IS THE PROBLEM , CONTACT A PROFESSIONAL IF YOU ARE HAVING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS.
[ suicide prevention helpline ; 022 2754 6669 {AASRA} ]
if you need any help , you can also contact me on Instagram .