Does this happen with you that you wanted to escape but you are not able to? you want this bad dream to end as fast it can but this dark night full of dreams is still continuing?
It was frustrating, I was trapped in my own brain.These noises in my brain were still not shutting themselves up.
MARCH 7 2016
I KNEW I EXISTED. After a failed attempt to disappear i knew, I had to exist, but how?
I was always afraid of the dark, but there I was sitting in this black deep tunnel from 6 days, trying to withdraw every contact with my body.I was not ready to face myself or the fact that I still existed. I just was not ready to look at my face in the mirror.
The voices in my brain were calling me a failure, were telling me I was not allowed to enter this beautiful world full of opportunities again.To my dismay, they all were right, possibly. no matter how hard I tried to close my ears ,these voices were still there, I was wasted. my soul was no longer in contact of my body.I wanted to scream so loud that my soul can set itself free
I just wanted to hide. I just wanted to feel safe in my own body. Again.
I knew that I had to do something, something to end this vicious cycle of shutting these voices and failing at it and sleeping.so I gathered all my courage and went in front of the mirror and looked at myself for the first time in 6 days.
That moment, I just wanted a hug from my own soul, an assurance that maybe I can exist.live. At that moment the journey started. the journey,to fight for life , started.
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